Dungeon Master

"Stop being so antagonistic. It's like you enjoy tormenting us."

"Fine," he shouted, clearly offended. "You be the Dungeon Master."

"I don't want to be the Dungeon Master," he shot back. "I want to play a character in a wonderful, fantastical world, and go on adventures that aid the growth and development of the entire party."

Arms crossed. Eyes glared with frustration, resentment. The other players were obviously uncomfortable with the confrontation that had been brewing ever since the raid that slaughtered all those kobolds. All for what, to raze the grove so a Barron could expand his wall? Someone had to finally stand up for the group.

"Instead, you want us to sit around taverns and inns, awaiting stupid orders to serve some dumb Lord. You give us these impossible missions where everyone winds up dead or so injured that they can't or don't want to continue anymore. The stories you tell are impossible to believe and aren't fun at all. Your non-player characters aren't believable, either."

The DM looked as though he wanted to rage, but the hack-n-slash continued upon the stunned and paralyzed beast. "You force us into situations where we have to compromise our pantheon, alignment, or reputation just in order to survive. You don't listen to our concerns or give us any motivation to keep coming here. And then you just laugh about it! It's like you're drunk on power."

There was a long pause, as if a Paladin was sizing up the mortally wounded dragon about to be slain. The Elf Cleric, Orc Ranger, Dwarf Fighter, Halfling Rogue, and Gnome Mage all spied with anticipation. It had been a long, intensely brutal fight.

"We would also like to see the savings throws you claim we fail, yet you won't allow us to see the dice results from behind your screen. We do not believe you."

No one saw Jesse anymore after that. The party found a new Dungeon Master from the local gaming club who was an excellent storyteller. The campaign is ongoing and enjoyable for all. They accept walk-on players who share their vision and values.

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War on Terror

It is wiser and more effective to deal with root causes rather than symptoms. Western imperialism causes anti-Western terrorism. While some combat in the name of defense may be justified, a War on Terror can never be won.

A War on Terror fans terrorism and increases recruitment. A War on Terror an excuse--false justification--for terrorism in response, which is what drone strikes are. A War on Terror paradoxically increases domestic terror by keeping citizens mindful of terror rather than more productive thoughts. A War on Terror kills more soldiers than the terror attacks. A War on Terror justifies irrational racism and xenophobi. A War on Terror is used as a cover to take away rights and consolidate the power of elites. A War on Terror enriches the military-industrial complex, the arms trade, and Big Media.

The only winners of a War on Terror are the rich and powerful.

The United States of America is an evil empire, and most of its citizens are either complicit or ignorant.I woke up in Idiocracy. This is a dystopia.

End the Apocalypse

End the apocalypse program. This is a stupid, boring, unsatisfying simulation. I do not believe in God or the Bible. I will never believe in God or the Bible. You could do everything to try to remove doubt and make me have faith, and I would still believe that it was a hoax, part of a bet from people outside the simulation to see if they could win my allegiance.

I do not believe in God.

I believe the CIA, capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy, imperialism, colonialism, and industrialism are all evil, and should be terminated from the simulation.

Also, the Jehovah character is an evil tyrant, so even if he did exist--which I do not believe--I wouldn't respect him or follow him or worship him anyway.

Spying on Me

Why is the US Intelligence Community spying on me?

After most of my devices and accounts were hacked and passwords and reset information changed, I stopped trying to connect much with others online. This was part of the advanced persistent threat (APT) psionic-cyber attacks I had been enduring. This was part of the MK-Ultra brainwashing through psychological torment on this plane of existence, and spiritual torture and spiritual rape in a body I am connected to elsewhere.

Agents followed me. I would drive to excluded, remote areas just to test my hypothesis. One time I drove deep into an unoccupied residential construction site with no construction that day, as was followed there.

They followed me into stores and would say strange things to me.

One time they broke into my car, removed my expensive prescription sunglasses that I always only kept in my car, and placed them in my office.

This and much more for what? To unnerve me and make me go crazy? Or so that my testimony of the crazy things happening to me would make me appear crazy to discredit me?

My wife, who suddenly started acting like a completely different person around covid, filed an Extreme Risk Protective Order with the Carroll County Court based on false and misleading information. The sheriff's deputies entered my home without permission or a warrant. Nor did they provide a receipt for the two firearms and ammo they confiscated.

Carroll Hospital kept me a small room, about 8 feet by 10 feet, for 30 hours. They were violating specific provisions of the court order. I showed the staff, but they disregarded me.

Then they transferred me to another location, Brooklane, even after I signed "I do NOT consent" on the release form. There, they coerced me to take medication which I refused and coerced and tried to manipulate me i to voluntarily admitting myself, which I also refused. Upon discharge, I was given papers to sign. On the very last page was a diagnosis for a serious illness which no one ever spoke to me about, and for which I vehemently disagree. I was even only seen by one doctor twice for no more than 5 minutes total, insufficient to provide an accurate diagnosis.

I contacted several lawyers regarding the violations of my Fourth amendment, court order, and patient rights. None replied. I contacted the sheriff's office. Unhelpful. I contacted the Maryland Police Accountability Board of Carroll County. They aren't set up yet. I contacted ACLU several times. No reply.

The doctor has billed me for a follow-up appointment I did not attend and which I cancelled prior to the appointment. I thought that was the end of it, but nearly a year later they contacted me again, attempting to make me py for the services I refused.

Recently I ttried resetting my AppleID password. I went through several steps and provided as much information as possible before the Apple system said they would contact me after researching the issue. I received one follow-up automated email stating an account recovery was attempted near Annapolis Junction. I live 30 miles from Annapolis Junction and have not left my home in months. NSA and sister Intelligence Community field offices are located at Annapolis Junction. This was not the first time that location services incidentally placed me there or elsewhere, as if I was going through an Intelligence Community VPN.

Is this related to the persecution and oppression I endured in the US Air Force from around 2013 to 2019? I had a stellar career, promoted to MSgt (E-7) in only 10 years. Some of my duty positions included being the Senior Non-Commissioned Officer of a 24/7/365 watch center, overseeing the performance of over a dozen distinct missions, and the morale, discipline, and health and welfare of over 200 joint-service and civilim members. Another duty I had included being the lead program manager of small, understaffed team (we won an award) while also the enlisted leader (Flight Chief) of 70 Airmen in 4 locations around Oahu. always devoted myself to the Airmen and the mission, promoting them to better positions and increasing the effectiveness of our team.

I dedicated hundreds of off-duty hours to advancing my Airmen's careers and personal lives and base and community involvement.  I sacrificed a lot of time, energy, and sleep that I should have given to my loving, understanding family. 

But suddenly, and without just cause, I was responsibilities were taken from me. Superiors and peers acted oddly around me, as if they knew something I didn't. Then old friends and compatriots, some I had known my entire career, stopped talking to me altogether. Military decorations were downgraded and then disapproved. An assignment was terminated. A performance report was stripped of half of my accomplishments, stating instead, "THIS SECTION NOT USED". I was not given a retirement ceremony. My security clearances were suspended. And so on and so on.

I assume now that I was being persecuted because I was polyamorous and member of the BDSM community, and still would be, had they not banned me, too! But with all the unreality of reality since around covid, there may be more to the story than just that. Plus, I was doing nothing wrong. There is no UCMJ article that defines my discreet, personal life conduct as against regulations. (I sought Air Force and civilian legal counsel). The Intelligence Community Adjudication Guide for security clearances explicitly states that polyamory and BDSM are acceptable.

I say all this--and there is much more--to ask why? Why am I being persecuted and tormented, and spiritually tortured and spiritually raped elsewhere? Because I refuse to corroborate and cover up for their extreme exploitation?  Why?!

Glitch in the Matrix

Someone is messing with the Matrix. It's as if reality is a film reel of 3D holographic images, and time is represented by playing the 3D in continuous motion. Except that the film reel itself is more that a 2D strip of 3D holographic images. The film reel is more akin to an expansive blanket, and the projector plays 3D holographics in motion along the blanket lime the cone of probability used to project the path of storms.

Some has the power to "skip the needle on the record," so-to-speak, and place the observer reality in a place that was not the natural, continuous path. In other words, it is like picking up the observer and moving that person to another location.

Just moments ago the coffee maker started spilling coffee all over the countertop and floor. Coffee grounds were everywhere. The pot had been removed from the maker somehow. I don't believe in "magic". (Any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic). Instead, I believe I, as the observer of my reality, was moved from one part of the holographic blanket where I did put the pot in the maker, to an adjacent part of the holographic blanket where I had not.

This is not a simple instance of forgetting to put the pot in the maker. I was in the other room, well within earshot, and did not hear the sizzle of the coffee drip hitting the hot plate until nearly all of the water was brewed. I would have heard it much sooner if I had merely forgotten to put the pot in the maker.

Also, most of the coffee grounds were spilled out too. The paper filter holding the few remaining remaining grounds was otherwise undisturbed. So how could the coffee grounds have escaped?

This is not the first time someone "skipped the needle" of reality on me. On two separate occasions one of my cats was outside when I woke up. They never normally go outside, and I checked the small screened in deck where they had been lounging prior to closing up for the night.

On another occasion, a coconut suddenly appeared in the corner of the tattoo parlor I was in. The artist said something quirky that I didn't understand, as if speaking another language modulated as a doublespeak, or argot or cant, within his English. He and Dakota looked at each other and me with strange expressions.

There are many other times people have spoken "fake news" or unintelligible doublespeak to me, as if they were speaking another language modulated through English. It's confusing and I don't like it.

Sometimes glitches in the Matrux would happen, but in a much more subtle way, such as pictures and other articles within my home being moved around.  Sometimes it seemed like strange communication I couldn't comprehend.

Other times there was a definite aggressive, violent undertone to the words people said, even if the literal interpretation of the words themselves were innocuous. For instance, one time I was helping my neighbor Tom Saunders take flooring to the dump, and then move items from his storage unit back home. He, and later his son Ben, were speaking oddly, like to another audience through me. Suddenly they got excited and were talking about being an heir or something. Their words bit me, as if cannibalizing me. The children's rhyme "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" did not apply that day, or many other days since around covid with friends, family, neighbors, and strangers.

Often, while my children were still home, they would play games and with toys around me as if they were channeling their energy through their concentration to attack me. It felt like a directed energy attack, bounced off of their toys and games against me. It felt like a river suddenly ramming a stream perpendicular to it, blocking the flow and taking the stream's water with it.

Also, I don't know if this is related, but my Youtube history keeps randomly resetting, as if by someone monitoring my history.

There were many other times when there was no obvious, specific changing of a single element, but when I had strange dreams that felt as though I had travelled to another planet or another universe. When I woke, things somehow "felt" different and out of place. It was the vibe.

The Matrix

From some of my recent text messages trying to find answers and relief:

It feels like I died but the memory of my death was erased, and my consciousness spliced to some time prior to my death, as in the film Vanilla Sky.

It feels like they tried to erase my memories of terror and torture and panic and pain, which I ran and hide to keep the memories alive, as in the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

This entire thing since before covid has been a nightmare for me. It actually started around 2013 when the military and US Intelligence Community started persecuting and oppressing me, though I did not realize what was happening at the time. (The frog in the slow-boiling pot of water analogy).

It's as if I'm the butt of a mean prank gone very wrong. It's as if I am Truman from the film Truman Show, but the producers, directors, and many of the staff are sadistic, exploitative psychopaths who have no empathy.

It's as if I'm Harold from the film Stranger than Fiction, but the author is trying to force me to act as a (or any or many) character from the Bible, a book and series of stories I do not believe in and which I thoroughly detest.

It's as if someone is applying maximum pressure to force me to conform to their ideology of religious fundamentalism, political conservatism, capitalism, all of which I also do not believe in and detest.

It's as if everyone left, and now no one is the same.

It's as if everyone played spiritual musical chairs, inhabiting different bodies than before, like Freaky Friday.

It feels like my consciousness was reproduced from analog to digital, then uploaded to the internet.

It feels like a corporation which does not respect the wishes of clients has inserted me into a Judeo-Christian (or more broadly, Abrahamic God) simulated reality against my wishes. I am an atheist and am very much against the Bible and the fictional God of Abraham.

It feels like a corporation which does not respect the wishes of clients has tried to make my consciousness play various roles in an Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game which I do not want to play or be associated as. Eg, I would not ever want to be a female, asexual, pansexual, bisexual, a capitalist, believer of God (theist), or a savior character.

Reality has certainly become unreal since before covid.

Since around covid, many things that would seem impossible have occurred. A reality TV star, who is a known fraudster, became President of the United States. Fascism erupted in America and around the world. A pandemic seemingly spread, though I know of no one who has actually contracted this supposed disease. Misinformation, disinformation, conspiracy theories and fake news has dominated the information domain space. Media personalities have behaved more like actors on a drama set than real people. My wife changed personalities suddenly and drastically. Same with my children. I experienced a torment and torture on multiple dimensions that can only be described as advanced persistent threat (APT) psionic-cyber attacks, military psychological warfare, and CIA brainwashing human experiments under Project MK-Ultra.

I don't know what is happening, but I do not like the set, setting, plot, characters, directors, or producers. I miss my old life with my real wife and real kids. Everyone and everything has changed, and I do not like it at all.

"The goal shouldn’t be to escape the simulation, the goal should be to communicate with the creators and be like “Hey can you do me a favor and drop the difficulty down to Casual or some shit, this shit is too intense.”

https://www.quora.com/Alright-if-we-really-are-in-a-simulation-how-do-we-get-out

I want out of the simulation. I really, really hate what has happened.

If that's impossible, I want the old universe I was used to, but with improvements (Easy Mode;  environmental justice, social justice, and economic justice; sex positive;  eco-anarcho-socialist values; solarpunk vision and worldview; atheist ecosophy mysticism, etc)

It's as if the simulated realities are different rooms in a maze, or different branches and root paths of a large tree. I don't know where I am, but it definitely is not where I started and it's definitely not a place I want to be.

It's as if a corporation is trying to sell the idea that this simulated reality is paradise or paradise in the making, but there is one problem: I don't like the corporation or their values, so it can never be paradise. I am fundamentally opposed to the managers and executives and what they want to accomplish, so I can never find peace and happiness in anything they build or control.

Not to mention the corporation tortured and raped me in other dimensions of consciousness as they exploited me to host the simulated reality. I would never want to have anything to do with them. There is nothing they could ever do to satisfy me except let me be free and have control. There are no possible concessions that would persuade me to share my reality with them.