Sunday, May 15, 2022

The Pleasure Gap

This writing is from a heteronormative perspective because I am (mostly*) heterosexual, and because that's my target audience. While many heterosexuals are enlightened on this topic, I have yet to meet an unenlightened non-heterosexual on this topic. I am also a cis male, ethically non-monogamous, and enjoy many BDSM activities and the community.

Growing up I was always baffled when boys would tease and belittle girls who were promiscuous. They would devalue them with names like "slut" or "whore" if only she dared to enjoy sex as much she did!


In addition, it seemed as if no other boys masturbated. You would be teased relentlessly if you dared admit it. The old church myths of hairy palms and going blind were still used as an ineffective club to terrorize you into denial and guilt. Many women never masturbate until adulthood, or rately.


Even then I never understood why this stupid culture did such stupid things. This stupid culture erected struct hierarchies of CEO, Reverend, Professor, and Father, all vying to control your mind through fear and ignorance.

What is wrong with pleasure? I will tell you. Pleasure is self-gratifying. The Pharaohs cannot control you when you seek optimal pleasure--that is, sometimes delaying short-term pleasure or avoiding longterm pain, and cooperating with others for mutual benefit.

I refer you the pleasure principle and the philosophies of hedonism (not self-indulgence) and epicureanism.


Therefore, the Pharaohs tell us we must be Puritans. The Pharaohs tell us who we may have pleasure with, how, and where. More importantly, the Pharaohs tell us who we may not have pleasure with, how and where. The Pharaohs control our access to pleasure, food, shelter, warmth, education, and love, and make us work as their wage slaves for crumbs from their tables. Who can deny this world is a dystopia? Who can deny that a child could easily dream up a much more wonderful world?

And so it is that endlessly abundant pleasure is commodified and artificially made scarce to control people.

And so it is that endlessly abundant food is commodified and artificially made scarce to control people.

And so it is that endlessly abundant shelter is commodified and artificially made scarce to control people.

And so it is that endlessly abundant warmth is commodified and artificially made scarce to control people.

And so it is that endlessly abundant education is commodified and artificially made scarce to control people.

And so it is that endlessly abundant love is commodified and artificially made scarce to control people.

I am not suggesting that everyone should pleasure everyone else. We are all allowed to discriminate how and with whom we wish to be intimate. (One branch of my family Krafted a plan to force a sort of MtF transexual transition against my will so that they could sexually exploit me--a most traumatic experience that I will never forgive).


Likewise, no Authority has the right to take our own individual right to collaboratively decide.

Which brings me back to my original point. Isn't it rather stupid that heterosexual men who desire pleasure deride women who desire pleasure? Isn't it much more intelligent to celebrate and support women who enjoy pleasure? This isn't just feminism and equal opportunity, which is merit enough, but also simple logic.

Therefore, I am among those who reclaim the word "slut," redefining it as a term of endearment and badge of honor for those sexually liberated women who choose to adorn themselves with that term (not all do). While I refuse to use the "N-word," or "faggot," I imagine it is similar for those oppressed populations who say, "You cannot hurt us with this word anymore. It is ours now." In the same light, I love sluts, women who dare to enjoy pleasure without shame--but only in the appropriate setting with those who accept the term from me, and never in a professional environment.

Stupid, primitive, fear-based culture, oh how I loathe thee. You have caused so much unnecessary suffering for me and billions of others.




The following are just a few videos to maybe, possibly, open the minds of a few.







* I identify as about a 1 on the 0-6 Kinsey Scale.



Update: These definitions are not conventional, but allow me to, um, indulge...

Hedonist: One who maximizes the most pleasure even at the cost of pain over time.
Epicurean: One who optimizes pleasure over time by balancing it against the cost of, or risk against, pain.

Using these somewhat conventionally inaccurate, but useful for my purposes, definitions, Epicureans are not strictly ascetics. They are strategists for a thriving, vibrant sustainability. Ascetics strive for an infinite dullness. Hedonists, using the same errant definitions, are ultimately self-destructive. In this sense, I am an Epicurean.

Moderation in all things, including moderation.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Google Drive

I uploaded some files for the general public here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1R11CRhLwCWZJP3SEZ2-99rxhblkcL5bk Also available v...